I worship the ground you walk on

The beauty of poetry is interpretation. You can write whatever comes into your mind and it can piece together to create something beautiful. Poetry isn’t about consistency and perfection, it can be anything that flows during a wave of creativity – as always my poems consist of metaphors and always play on famous sayings, for example in this poem “worshipping the ground you walk on” so obviously I had to play on religious connotations. I hope you all enjoy x

I was an atheist until I met you, 
Always told you to walk a mile in my shoes,
Then you’d know what it was like to love you a little too much,
And how it was to smile a little less, 
And to understand this religious context,
I preyed in a different way,  
By looking into your eyes that day, 
By creating a pathway for you to walk, 
For our minds to connect and not to talk,
Where you loved me less and smiled more,       When you walked on this path your feet lit up the floor,

Beneath your feet you emitted beams so strong,
To believe in anything less than you would be wrong,
In this secular age I found a spiritual connection,
By watching your path closely and following your direction,
Your footsteps led me to an enlightened space,
Where I preyed that our smiles would one day be the same,
We dusted our shoes off and put them aside, 
We found a place that we could hide, 
I took your hand and told you to hold on,
My first time worshipping – and it was the ground that you walked on.

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Women will always be afraid of the dark

For everyone reading, first of all thank you for taking time out of your day to look at my work. Most of my poems have quite important messages attached – whether they be implicit through metaphors, or explicitly addressed. My next poem was written at 2:45am last night in approximately 10 minutes – it doesn’t take long to create a masterpiece if your mind flows – especially at night! It shares a very important message on behalf of us women living our lives in fear, speaking for myself, I try not to live like that. However, with my current profession it is proving difficult. I feel honestly and truly blessed to have the job I do, walking beautiful dogs and spending my days outside, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to feel guilty for also feeling scared. As a young women walking alone, I’ve had to run through so many safety features with family and friends, from carrying an alarm to putting keys between my knuckles. I got talking to a male friend today in the park who didn’t seem threatened by anyone or anything – I couldn’t help but think aren’t you so lucky. I don’t want to be a target, I want to enjoy my time walking with dogs and not constantly looking behind me. I hope you enjoy. 

I was a little girl afraid of the dark, 

Mum was always there to make a remark,

Always the same “you’ll grow out of it one day”

But oh how hard that would be,

As women will always be a afraid of the dark,

Is that so hard to see?

 

I always slept with a night light inside,

But my biggest fears were outdoors,

Under that powerful glare of the moonlight,

How naïve of me to fear the inside of these four walls,

But now at my age I am well aware,

If only I could take these four walls with me everywhere,

 

When I was sixteen I was afraid of the dark,

But my friends were always there to make a remark,

Always the same “don’t be silly – just walk on the main road”

But oh how hard that would be,

Because the men driving on those main roads – are still whistling and calling at me.

 

Always stay in a group and never split up,

The pressure to keep safe is becoming too much,

I want to go out and have fun without the worry,

I want to walk around in the dark and not have to hurry.

 

I am 20 and still afraid of the dark,

Strangers on social media always making a remark,

Always the same “women should not walk around alone”

But oh hard that would be,

As situations can happen – where alone a woman will be,

So please strangers shine us that bright light we need,

So as women we can continue to succeed,

Please strangers help us leave this mark,

So us women are no longer afraid of the dark.

 

Love yourself and others, always.

Let me start off by saying, none of us have it figured out. We have been put this Earth for reasons unknown to us, but what we do know is that we live amongst each other and we are all that we have. With this little, but crucial, piece of knowledge – it is only right that we spread kindness and look after one another. We become unwell physically and we go to the hospital and they assess us and we get the right treatment. We become unwell mentally and we go the hospital and they assess us and tell us to relax and come back when we have a diagnosis. What they do not tell us is, it is okay to not have it figured out. How the f**k can I explain to you what’s going on in my head if I have no idea myself, all I know is I don’t feel right. So, let me figure it out myself. Let me take a breather and figure out how to mend my mind. Let me quit my job of 2 years and start from fresh. Let me try and be outside in nature, I can’t truly recognise beauty until I am surrounded by it. Let me take a bath, but wash my hair as well and drown it in conditioner and brush it gently. Let me drop anyone who doesn’t make time for me, that being friends – or family. Lets spread kindness, even when the world feels mean, because it’ll make you feel good. Mental Health is complex, it is not a broken wrist or bone, it is layers and layers of emotions all wrapped around each other and jumbled up which don’t make sense. Please don’t spend ages trying to figure out what your label is, we don’t have labels, we were born with a name and a choice to make whatever identity we wanted, our Mental Health is connected to that, but we cannot be branded and defined by it. Do what is right by you, do your best, do something you’ve always wanted too. If you don’t want to do that, then that is fine. Lets embrace our Mental Health, please do not be embarrassed or ashamed. Your mind can work against you, you will create this identity and life and sometimes your mind will rip that down, it won’t let you see friends, go on holiday, eat certain foods, go certain places – so let’s not put pressure on ourselves to keep a persona. Let go of the past. Go with the changes happening around you. Always remember that if you can’t do any of this, then that is still ok. Choose what suits you and your mind. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself and others. Always. 

I used my favourite soap today, 

I had been saving it for a rainy day,

Life had become a little mundane,

And I needed something to keep me sane, 

Vanilla enriched with honey should seal the deal,

Just to make me smell as good as I feel,

 

I didn’t go into work today, 

When they asked me why I didn’t know what to say,

I just told them I had been sick,

So now I’ve got 8 hours free to take my pick, 

I think I’ll sit outside all day,

So that my emotions I do not need to convey,

 

I went for a coffee with a friend today,

I couldn’t wait to get away,

I told her everything – and didn’t downplay,

She said everything would be ok, 

A milky latte and a piece of cake,

Will take away this heart ache, 

 

I didn’t want to drive into work today,

Something in me said it wasn’t okay, 

But I drove into work today,

I ignored the feelings and went anyway,

I ended up having the best day today,

All because my friend decided not to stray,

I drove into work today,

All because my friend told me it would be ok.

Jimmy Choos

Poetry In Motion

Hi everyone!

It has been months since I last posted, as I am very busy trying to set up my own business. I have been writing loads, but haven’t had time to post any online. I started writing a poem today about starting up a business and how everyone should follow their dreams – however it kind of went off on a tangent, and subconsciously became very feminist orientated! I guess it’s because I have been seeing so many things lately about what women can and can’t wear, and it has actually bothered me more than I’d care to admit. As the hot weather is coming and I’ve been finding wearing a bra is becoming more of a chore, but I also don’t want all the unwelcomed attention that comes with it. So my poem today transported into what women can and can’t wear in the work place, it has…

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The Owl and The Oak Tree

Hi everyone. As you all know I love writing, and I have created a childrens book which I have been sat on for ages and have no idea what to do with it. I know it is not poetry, but I would appreciate it if you could all read it and maybe message me what you think – thank you so much!

 

The Owl and The Oak Tree. 

Night swept over the land where Mr Owl lived. It was like any other night but something felt different. Mr Owl was thinking back to when Little Owl flew out of the nest. He also thought about Mrs Owl not returning with the food one night. Mr Owl was growing old and lonely.

Mr Owl was disturbed by a “scuffle”. He turned his head all the way around and noticed a Mole’s home in the ground being dug up by a night Fox. He swooped down to rescue the Mole. He shouted “Mole hold onto my feathers, and I will take you up to my safe branch”. Mole scurried onto Mr Owl’s feathers and Mr Owl flew away.

They both sat upon the safe branch when Mole whispered “thank you for saving me wise Owl, night time is scary sometimes” Mr Owl being old and intelligent told Mole that “things are only scary when we let them be”. Mole closed his eyes and went to sleep, whilst Mr Owl guarded the tree from the night fox.

Hours passed and the sun began to glaze over the land where Mr Owl and Mole lived. It was like any other day but Mr Owl had never seen daylight before. “Theres a ball of burning fire in the sky!” cried Mr Owl, “The trees are so green!” exclaimed Mr Owl, “The sky is so blue!” screeched Mr Owl. “Mole wake up you have to see this!” said Mr Owl. Mole woke up from his sleep after hearing Mr Owls excitement. “Everything is so bright and beautiful, with us being night animals we don’t get to experience this often, isn’t it beautiful?” said Mr Owl to Mole. “I can’t see anything wise Owl, my eyesight isn’t all that clear” sighed Mole. Mr Owl then remembered that Moles could only see outlines and shapes. He couldn’t let Mole miss out on seeing the beauty of day light, so he decided to explore the land and describe to Mole what he had seen.

Mr Owl flew amongst the grass. He flew so fast past a patch of dandelions, the dandelion clocks clouded his vision. He wanted to find The Oak Tree where him, Mrs Owl and Little Owl used to live years ago. He reached The Oak Tree hoping that Little Owl might be there now he is older – but there was no sign of him. He set himself down on the highest branch and overlooked the land, it looked so clear in the daylight. The light began to slip away so Mr Owl returned to Mole to tell him all about what he had seen.

They sat under the shiny stars and Mr Owl described The Oak Tree to Mole and how much it meant to him. He said it was where he watched Little Owl grow up and fly away and where he lost his Mrs Owl. Mr Owl said how the tree felt like home, but he had to leave it and move on. He also described the patch of grass, the dandelion clocks and the journey leading up to The Oak Tree. “Now I’m growing old and tired Mole, if anything happens to me I want you to visit The Oak Tree and stay there” Said Mr Owl. “But I can’t see!” Said Mole. “Your imagination can be just as beautiful” said Mr Owl. “Now Mole, after staying awake and guarding this tree, and exploring all day I’m very tired, I must rest my eyes!”
Mr Owl closed his eyes and passed away peacefully.

Mole woke up that morning, and although he couldn’t see the sun, he could feel the warmth on his whiskers. He tried to wake Mr Owl but could not get a response. Mole shed a tear for Mr Owl, but a tear of happiness for the friendship he had been given. Mole knew then that he had to follow Mr Owl’s wishes and vist The Oak Tree. He climbed down from the tree using his imagination and senses and set of on his journey.

Mole passed a patch of grass and brushed his whiskers on the dandelion clocks. The same dandelion clocks that had regrown after Mr Owl flew past them. Mole felt happy as he knew things could grow again and be as beautiful as they once were. Mole sat down and imagined the daylight to be as beautiful as Mr Owl had told him about, he rested his eyes and fell asleep.

Mole woke up the next morning, it was like any other day, but Mole felt lost without Mr Owl. He feared travelling alone but remembered that things were only scary when we let them be. Mole travelled along this path for 2 days using his imagination and whiskers to guide him.

Eventually as night was closing in, Mole felt a massive tree infront of him. “This must be The Oak Tree!” cried Mole. He touched it with his nose and felt the rough bark and damp moss. Suddenly a night fox appeared and chased Mole. He remembered to not be scared and scurried in the other direction, until suddenly he was grabbed and taken to a branch in The Oak Tree. “Mr Owl is that you?!” exclaimed Mole. “I am an Owl, but I don’t think we have met before, that fox was very scary, especially for a partially blind Mole like you!” Said this Owl. “Things are only scary when we let them be” replied Mole. “And your imagination can be just as beautiful as your eyesight” said the Owl. Mole was shocked, he remembered Mr Owl saying that to him in the past. “You must be Little Owl who flew away, he taught me that too!” said Mole. “Well we have both learnt from the best then.” said Little Owl. Little Owl had found The Oak Tree and visited it every night for the past few days hoping to find Mr Owl, but Mr Owl had been visiting it in the daytime. Little Owl felt sad, but also happy to meet his fathers dear friend. 

Both Little Owl and Mole waited for the sun to rise that morning, it was like any other day but Mole realised Mr Owl had not only shown him The Oak Tree and the beauty of daylight, but had shown him a deep friendship. Little Owl described the daylight to Mole everyday from that morning onwards, and even though Owl’s can turn their heads almost 360 degree’s, Little Owl never looked back – and Mole was glad his friends “opened his eyes”. 

The End. 

Puppy Forever

As most of you may know, I am a Dog Walker, and on my lovely business venture I have come across the most amazing animals who I feel privelleged to have met. Anyone who has ever owned a pet knows how much they become a part of your family, and loosing them is like loosing a part of yourself. What is just as devastating is watching them get older and weaker – and you wish they could be a puppy forever, hence my next poem. I met a beautiful dog called Marley, who I helped walk and groom when he was 12/13 and his back legs we’re very bad and he couldn’t hardly walk – despite that he was still the happiest dog in the park, and still tried to run with the other dogs. We used to sit on the field for ages and he just loved being in the air and sniffing all the new smells. He passed away a few months ago and it was so sad, because our last walk together we just sat under a tree in the sun and I brushed his fur until he fell asleep! My job doesn’t feel like a job anymore because I enjoy it so much, and I would never want to do anything else. If you have a Dog that has passed rainbow bridge, they will go there and be healed, and live on as a puppy forever. 

You might say I’m too old for this cold weather,
But I would say this is all I endeavour

You’re finding it hard to walk and your paws aren’t too clever,
But I would say I feel as light as a feather

You want to run with the other dogs but you can’t keep up whatsoever, 
But I would say we can try and run together

Your legs are getting weak and they can’t take much pressure,
But I would say it’s the green grass that I treasure

I love being inside but I need a refresher, 
The cool air on my face is the best feeling ever

You say I am too old but my age you can measure, 
But you cannot measure freedom, running around in my leisure

I know I am old and but stop running I will never,
I’m going to be a puppy forever.

Art + Derealisation

Hey guys, I am going to be very honest and real with you all, so I hope you appreciate it.

I didn’t want my blog to become really mental health orientated, because it was supposed to be used as a platform to share my poetry, but ironically, suffering with my mind has made my poetry really mental health orientated! Now, I’m going to explain some things I have been going through, and I don’t expect anyone to understand if they haven’t experienced it – but it is very scary and very strange. I want to talk about it because when it first started happening, I had no idea it even existed and genuinely thought I was going crazy, I even googled it and not much came up 4 years ago – but now I am seeing more and more articles about it, which is so amazing. DEREALISATION. A very scary and very real symptom of anxiety, it’s different for so many people but it is how it affects you, I remember when it first started happening I could only describe it as being in a bubble, or like a pane of glass was in front of me, it then progressed to me looking at things and not recognising them – everything looked the same but it felt different. Once, I looked out my window and everything looked like it had been painted, thus my next poem, being trapped inside a painting. It’s became a part of my life and I am living with it, it doesn’t define me, I am living perfectly and normally – but I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was when I had no clue what it was, so if anyone is feeling the same, I have experienced it so drop me a message please. You’ve got to learn to love yourself no matter what is going on inside your head, it’s taken me years to be honest with myself and everyone else, because you feel embarrassed, you want to be strong and you feel weak, but there’s nothing stronger than fighting a battle with your mind everyday. So, to me derealisation feels like I am stuck inside a painting, what does it feel like to you? I have made references to micheal-angel-oh, andy-war-hole and free-da-khalo, just to add to the ‘art’ side of things, so I hope you pick up on it, thank you ❤

It isn’t what I imagined being stuck inside a painting,
I heard that art was beautiful, but for now I am waiting,
You said you painted gold on the canvas but I can only see black,
Every brush stroke of delicacy will only reveal a crack,
Michel, you said you painted an angel,
Oh, it’s a red figure and I can’t see a halo,
Andy, I am trying to be at peace but I am fighting a war,
The hole is getting bigger and I’ve fallen in it once more,
The beauty of this painting I so desperately want to explore,
Now please explain to the painting to me once more,
You’ve painted a tree but I can see it in 3D,
The branches are swaying and waving at me,
I can’t work out the colour of the leaves,
You said they are green, but my brain it deceives,
My mind has painted a picture itself,
No matter how hard I look, I see something else,
Your art is beautiful, but to be free I must follow,
For now just paint da’ other one, Kahlo