Mountain

Stuck between its too late and it’s only just started

In the middle I will sit until

I am rescued

Eyes closed dipping my feet in both ponds

The best years are to come but all the best years have gone

Summer sunshine met with holy matrimony

Vows to myself to remain youthful

Whilst my skin glows but my bones ache

Wondering if wisdom has made me feel older

I’ve felt so much in so little time

So I will sit with my toes in freezing water until

I can’t feel

To climb the mountain barefoot and

Take me back to where it all began

Waves

The waves washed me away

Fickle and fragile I fled with hope

Of not drowning with these thoughts of

What I must do and should have said

The apprehension of time passing

How the waves carry it away so fleetingly

Before you know it you are 30

Innocence now swallowed by the animals

The same animals who set me free

In dreams of becoming Cesar Milan

Where my whispers reached a thousand ears

I spoke softly but never enough

Words clouded, forcing rain down fast

Making tides stronger

Taking me away

Raw

Raw like a crunchy carrot

Full of goodness

5 of your 5 a day

Full of colour

I am raw

Authentic and organic

Like a freshly squeezed smoothie

A sweet grape

A sour banana

A bitter strawberry

Refreshing like a lemon

Natures creation

Grown on this Earth

From the Earth

To be enjoyed everyday

Sweet & sour

Sometimes not wanted

But always needed

I think, I know

I think sometimes I feel too much

I wonder if that makes me weak

Emotions stand tall and I’m falling at their feet

I think I’m scared of failure

It eats me up inside

So to avoid that feeling, sometimes I just sit by

I think I look for how to be different

Instead of appreciating myself

I want happiness to glow from me, to be my biggest wealth

I think sometimes my poems aren’t good enough

I’m never going to make it great

Spread my words far and wide to help people who can relate

I know sometimes I feel too much

But I am certain that makes me strong

The greatest gift in life, is to feel the lyrics in a song

I don’t need to be afraid of failing

As better opportunities aren’t always exposed

Sometimes sat waiting behind the door that was just closed

I know I don’t need to be different

I give off the energy I embrace

As I only take in positivity, that’s what I will display

This is the best poem I’ve ever written

As it speaks the greatest volumes

Just the simplest words sung to the catchiest tune

Male Gaze

We base our lives around the male gaze

Which look will get us the most praise

I wonder how beautiful our minds would shine

If their authentic selves were to align

Pretty is always our ticket to respect

The absence of beauty returns a lot less

If that is the case I don’t want the ticket

I will rip it up and then I will bin it

What power if we showed what’s deep inside

That side to ourselves that we try to hide

That side to ourselves that we try to suppress

In order to gain that bit more respect

If the only ticket to equality is to be pretty

The only ticket that will get us into the city

Where only the successful & beautiful seem to reside

I will happily walk for the rest of my life

Maybe…

I wonder what I could’ve been

A version of myself that remains to be seen

I really hope she will come out soon

I’m leaving her enough room

Maybe the world isn’t ready

It’s now forced me to take it steady

I can’t shine forever if I use all my light

I need to save some in order to stay bright

Maybe I’ll preserve it and carry it on with me

The brightest star you’ll ever see

Maybe in another lifetime I do exist

Fulfil all of the things my mind made me miss

Those nights that you wish would never end

Listening to music with your favourite friend

Maybe one day I’ll become one of those nights

A star in the sky that will always shine bright

Look down on myself laughing with friends

This time I’ll make sure the night never ends

Stay or go

I’m too scared to go and everyone around me is moving

I’ve watered my flowers but now they’re not blooming

Visions of myself staying and leaving

Living in the unknown or living here not breathing

I can’t do it alone

I’m so far from home

So removed from myself I can’t see clearly

Uncertainty is moving closer and it’s moving fiercely

I just want to laugh

I just want to love

I just want to live simply

I just want to hug

I want to breathe again and to feel that clarity

Inhale sunshine rainbows and all the things I want to see

These dark thoughts aren’t me

But they come so closely

They’re messing with my identity

I know I want to give love and feel it in return

That’s the clearest notion I ever did learn

My love for animals and my love for life

My urge to succeed and need to survive

The love for my boyfriend and my family so great

I need to get back to a place where it’s safe