Healing

Sometimes we need to heal our childhood self

to just feel back when times were quiet

a box of rice crispies falling off the top shelf

where milk and cereal were the only diet

a selection box where you never wanted cornflakes

but it was so exciting to take your pick

sometimes thats all it would really take

to make your whole day feel more magic

bouncing on the trampoline in your school shirt

before Mom would call you in for tea

white, now covered in leaves and dirt

building a den with bedsheets under a tree

Today I decided to watch Winnie The Pooh

to connect with the child inside me

to feel that peace, and to say thank you

for playing in the sun under that tree

as that’s when my love for nature grew

playing in the garden until the sun sleeps

sometimes I need to reach the girl I once knew

to take back those memories that she keeps

Home comfort

I told you I was going home

But I don’t know where that is

As when you left me on that day

Home did no longer exist

You left me cold, in rain soaked slippers

I walked past all those family homes

Fires lit where children whispered

Of life where love was all that’s known

The street lamp flickered as I wondered on

Past a bungalow in the shadow of the moon

He wondered what I was running from

But not what I was running too

As he watched in the window, I put up my hood

I kept my dressing gown on for comfort

To keep hold of my home before I leave it for good

To start my journey in the thunder

Feeling music

Oh you can wait

But I’ve waited for so long

I’ve listened to the radio everyday, waiting to hear that song

I can’t put my finger on which one

Just one that makes me feel

A memory from my childhood

Or something that wasn’t real

Something once created in my head

Which my mind is trying to claw back

Reminiscing on things that weren’t even said

In a pantomime that I have to act

Maybe the smell of freshly cut grass

Before school when I’d open my window

Or walking to work on that same path

That I first heard Take Care years ago

When Mom used to play Aretha Franklin

She’d say a little prayer for me

Now even when I’m panicking

I can hear it playing so clearly

Morning walks with wet hair

I never learned my lesson

I can’t catch a cold out there

If I welcome it as a blessing

Maybe Blackbird by the Beatles

Or Cherry Wine by Hozier

The sound of birds could defeat it all

Or maybe I just need some closure

Redbone by Gambino

Or even Feels like Summer

As even goosebumps I feel, though

That warmth is never far from her

Eating alone

I fear that you’ll never let go

I’ve tried ushering you away

Like an ant in a built-up town

I’m trying to find you a new home

I am a tired bee and I’ve pollenated you

But you’ve run out of sugar water

You used it all in the cups of tea I made us

They’ve gone cold and the kettle has run out of water

Like a pigeon eating out the palm of a child

You peck until my hands are sore

These hands need to be preserved

So I can build you a new home

You drain me like pasta water

I can add it to my cooking but I want to eat alone

I only lit a candle for one

I know you hold enough fire for us both

But I don’t want to feel that heat anymore

I must let go of the old me

Dancing in the dark

I’ve found it too much fun dancing in the dark

For my footwork is impeccable and timing to the nearest mark

It’s a beautiful thing to dance to your own music

Keeping hold of beat so that you don’t lose it

A loud silence echoing off of old stone walls

Whilst my feet move in perfect time to the calls

Even sometimes I dance to the sweet bird song

Under the moonlight, as it casts a shadow so strong

At the first quarter is when i feel I dance my best

As that’s when darkness tends to my every request

I can finally let go and my feet feel alive

Til’ the next full moon, I hope I will survive

Mountain

Stuck between its too late and it’s only just started

In the middle I will sit until

I am rescued

Eyes closed dipping my feet in both ponds

The best years are to come but all the best years have gone

Summer sunshine met with holy matrimony

Vows to myself to remain youthful

Whilst my skin glows but my bones ache

Wondering if wisdom has made me feel older

I’ve felt so much in so little time

So I will sit with my toes in freezing water until

I can’t feel

To climb the mountain barefoot and

Take me back to where it all began

Waves

The waves washed me away

Fickle and fragile I fled with hope

Of not drowning with these thoughts of

What I must do and should have said

The apprehension of time passing

How the waves carry it away so fleetingly

Before you know it you are 30

Innocence now swallowed by the animals

The same animals who set me free

In dreams of becoming Cesar Milan

Where my whispers reached a thousand ears

I spoke softly but never enough

Words clouded, forcing rain down fast

Making tides stronger

Taking me away

The Life of Riley

The name Ronald didn’t stick,

I wanted to be left to take my pick,

John was an option, but thinking of myself highly,

I preferred the name Riley,

I envisioned the way my life would be,

I wrote my own autobiography, 

Conveniently named The Life of Riley,

A business man with a big heart, 

But that stayed hidden under my cashmere scarf, 

A life of betting and playing cards, 

That me, Riley, would never find hard, 

I was a teacher in many ways, 

How to live life in a practical way, 

A bottle of wine, playing trumps until the sun sets slightly,

Ace is high, isn’t it Riley? 

This is what life is about, 

I will be rich without a doubt, 

I just need a win on those premium bonds, 

Then all my problems will be gone, 

One marriage and a straying eye later, 

Will only make my love greater, 

50 years pass and here I hold my autobiography,

Conveniently named The Life Of Riley, 

I realised that Riley didn’t really fit,

I was there in name but not in spirit, 

I changed the name to The Life of John, 

All my memories of Riley had gone, 

The only Riley I had left in me, 

Was that I married Darling Peggy.