Stay or go

I’m too scared to go and everyone around me is moving

I’ve watered my flowers but now they’re not blooming

Visions of myself staying and leaving

Living in the unknown or living here not breathing

I can’t do it alone

I’m so far from home

So removed from myself I can’t see clearly

Uncertainty is moving closer and it’s moving fiercely

I just want to laugh

I just want to love

I just want to live simply

I just want to hug

I want to breathe again and to feel that clarity

Inhale sunshine rainbows and all the things I want to see

These dark thoughts aren’t me

But they come so closely

They’re messing with my identity

I know I want to give love and feel it in return

That’s the clearest notion I ever did learn

My love for animals and my love for life

My urge to succeed and need to survive

The love for my boyfriend and my family so great

I need to get back to a place where it’s safe

thank u, sun

i would like to say thank you to the sun
throughout this life you have been my only one
you’ve guided and adored me
you’ve cleansed my mind
throughout this darkness you’ve shown me a light
you shone on my tears whilst alleviating my fears
then without seed you grew a sunflower
which spread through my heart and helped devour
the thorns which punctured holes in my veins
you warmed my blood so that it would not stain
you shone through my holes and created a lantern
a beautiful silk design with a floral pattern
you guided me through the sky at night
i didn’t need fire to keep me alight
as you lit me up and lifted me away
so that i could shine for another day

happy in my skin

your best life is preferential
in order to reach my full potential
i need to look within

it isn’t about my exterior
desperate to match the criteria
i feel i need to fit in

we are all beautiful
its time to be truthful
learn to love my skin

sand in my toes
a vacation picture for my next post
where I can make myself look thin

pull in my waist
contour my face
paint on a grin

a beautiful getaway
where I didn’t manage to getaway
from the loneliness within

my friends and family will see a smile
a cocktail on the beach, all the while
under the stars, to the sadness I give in

not to be captured on a photo
as it’s too dark to show
the emotional whirlwind

so for the while
you’ll see my smile
until I am able to admit

in order to really live my best life
i need to be happy in my own skin

Ice Men

A weeping voice trembling through words, 

A symphony we can only sing, alone with the birds,

Tongue tied with terror, triumph a lifetime away, 

A mask to be worn for the day,

A shield protecting our organs from the bitter chill

An icicle slicing through skin is the worst thing to feel

Frozen tears, burning cheeks 

Icicles forming, there for weeks 

Not melting as we are made tough 

As men we will remain rugged and rough 

Oh what a life

A stone cold persona to represent our strife 

Walking barefoot through the grass with thorns in our feet 

Although in pain, we shall never speak 

Stay silent and strong 

To this group we must belong 

Let the pain resonate within our veins

As men we will remain the same

We must never tell all

As vulnerability will make us fall

The sun will shine but we shall not melt 

For our armour is our safety belt